UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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