It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
