i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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