MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I didn't notice because vodka
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
