I'd wear matching sweaters with you
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
