I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
