Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
