she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We have started to decorate penises.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
