Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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