It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
