He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
