but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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