i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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