New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Where are you guys?
Drunk
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
