dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
