Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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