Need sex. Gaining weight.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
