Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
