This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
