Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
