She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
