Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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