I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
