does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
