His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
