yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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