Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
