yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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