just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
