your room smells of hookers.
And success
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It's never too late to be topless.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
