Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
