Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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