Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
