Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
