so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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