We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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