how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
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you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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