Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Someone shit on the floor
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
