I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
