so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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