I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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