Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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