dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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