so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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