there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
