Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
