I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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