Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
