You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
