found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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