Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
