Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
