We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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