return my video game
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize