Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I have already put on my inside pants.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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