Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
