OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
