i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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