didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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