The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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