i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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