Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
How's work?
Spinning.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
