Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
