she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
