My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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